Why Are You So Angry?

What are you so angry about? (Ephesians 4)

Ephesians 4:26, 31 “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”

A good friend of mine pointed something out to me that I’m not sure ever really occurred to me before: Relationships are all we have. When you cut through it all, it’s not our possessions or position or perception that defines us, it’s who we know and who knows us. How we interact with others, and how others interact with us, that’s what really matters in life.

Recently, it seems I’ve been exposed to much more conflict than “normal.” Of course there are always disagreements in life, but it just seems more prevalent right now. Whether it involves family, friends, co-workers, or business partners, long-time relationships all around me are quarreling

I guess I should count myself fortunate that I am not the one personally involved in the conflicts. The best I can tell, no one is angry with me, so I am not affected. Or am I?

Our pastor has said something numerous times that applies in this context: Hurt people hurt people. Holding on to bitterness and resentment doesn’t really affect the other person, it affects the one that is holding on to the bitterness. On the other side of that coin, though, acting out in bitterness and resentment not only affects the other person, it also affects the one acting out. Further, it affects others as well. When you look at it that way, bitterness is a pretty selfish act, don’t you think?

It bothers me when the people who are closest to me are hurting. It also bothers me when they are hurting others. But it bothers me most that there is very little that I can do about it. This is yet another area where I must trust the Creator and the Prince of Peace to remedy the problems of this world. If he can use me to that end, then I’m available, but I must trust him to do what he has promised to do, and that is to bring peace and salvation to people.

There are always two sides to a conflict. Too often, we concentrate on what the other side should do rather than on what we ourselves can do. Or, we focus so much on what we can and can’t do that we forget about what God can do. And what he will do, if we ask.

Our church has a core value: Focus on the things that unite us and not on the things that divide us. I think that principle has merit in a church setting, but I also think it has application in our homes, schools, and workplaces. If we concentrate on those things we have in common instead of focusing on the differences, we leave very little to feel bitter about.

We can’t let our selfishness destroy the relationships God has put in our lives. That may seem like the easy route today, but it won’t seem that way tomorrow.

Look for the tough road today. More than likely, that’s the one God wants us to take.